


Splitting coins

by niacdoial



Category: Homestuck
Genre: !tags WILL change/be added!, (It makes sense in context), (ex-sprite²s to be precise), (yes i'm making this tag a thing), Author being way over their head in some places, But like canon HS is also probably rated M so... eh whatever, But of course unexpected stuff happens, Cherubs (Homestuck), Constructive Criticism Welcome, Ex-sprites, I'm winging everything in case you haven't noticed (EDIT: not anymore), POV Changes, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Rating might bump up to M depending on violence content., SGRUB (Homestuck), To Live - Fandom, background/implied politics, probably not canon compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 14:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20065609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niacdoial/pseuds/niacdoial
Summary: The Game was over, wasn't it? It looked like it anyways.So what was this... random curve ball Paradox Space threw at them?There was literally no way to see it coming, and it just didn't make sense, on so many levels....But that didn't matter yet, did it?for now, they all had to... just deal with it. And with the vaguedeadline that it came with.Those were John's thoughts as he absentmindedly played with his new dark green jaw.Then, he said, in a voice that wasn't his, "This is just stupid."





	1. Waking up from an nightmare into another

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [To Live a Normal Life? How preposterous!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11470704) by [09Pyros_09Hydros](https://archiveofourown.org/users/09Pyros_09Hydros/pseuds/09Pyros_09Hydros). 

> So... my first multi-chapter work, and it is already one of those fics with an unknown length.  
Because I'm winging everything. Yikes.  
I will try to update, but it probably will be on the lower update frequency side of things. Also don't expect anything longer than 2k words at a time.  
*inhales* I can do this.
> 
> Also yeah, it's another to-live-ish fic. I swear this is becoming a fandom of its own. Not that I'm complaining of course.
> 
> Anyway, let's get onto this, shall we?

John was... nowhere. Or at least he thought he was. He couldn't see anything in the distance, nor hear anything besides his own thoughts. He couldn't smell anything either, but that was less of an issue since he didn't rely on his sense of smell that much. He couldn't even tell up from down, something he always could to usually, even given how abstract these notions were when floating between celestial bodies in the Medium. As far as he knew, he truly was in some sort of void. Or at least his current body was.  
This body was... well it didn't seem like a decent body at all. Even the projected bodies he could unwillingly create when visiting dream bubbles while asleep felt more complete, and they were literally empty shells that expired when he would wake up. This, on the other hand? It felt like he was 'raw'. Like this was what he was at its core, unshielded. Because of that, this 'body' he currenty had felt far more precious than anything else. Somehow he knew that if he died now, he would die permanently. God tier or not.  
Speaking of god tier, it looked like he was wearing his God Tier jammies <strike>they were part of him</strike>, and... Yes. He could indeed use his powers somehow, even if they behaved very weirdly without a notion of 'down' to anchor the way some of them moved. He could even turn into wind himself. 

...

However, no matter how far he tried to reach, there didn't seem to be any boundaries to this place. He would have cursed, but he couldn't speak either. A quick search also told him that his sylladex was gone. No pesterchum, phone calls or vriskagram for him either. Not that phone calls were an option when he had no voice anyway. The was also a force, barely there, that was slowly... feeding of his energy? It was very weird, but not much of a concern since he could very easily push it back. 

...

Now that he knew what was currently going on, he would need to understand how it came into being, and how to get out of it.  
The last thing he could remember was... the Lilypad. He was standing on the Lilypad, reaching towards the door to open it. His friends (well, eight human teens, three trolls, a cherub and a human adult. The sprites weren't there for some reason) were there with him, cheering. And then... nothing. Afterwards, he just started _being_ here, without as much as a warning. He didn't faint and wake up either, he simply stopped being in one place and started to be in the other. And that memory felt so far...  
But why? Was that the "reward" the game had in store for them? Or maybe just for him?  
Why not earth C? Why not what they were actually promised? It didn't make sense! Was he going to be here, floating in the middle of nowhere for who knows how long? Were the others dealing with the same thing somewhere else? Would thigs have gone better if he didn't open the door? Probably. If only he knew what would happen when he opened the door. He needed to stop himself from opening it. Maybe if he could manage to tell himself to not do that, he...  
No. His retcon powers were not there anymore.  
What could he do, then? He couldn't retcon out of this place, and he couldn't travel to the edge, he was sure of this now. He... he never felt this powerless about something before. He was he heir of Breath -of freedom, in a sense!- and he was just trapped.  
Just... what was this place and how could he be stuck here? ...did it matter? No.  
He had been here for what, half an hour? At least he could still feel time flying by. He couldn't do anything like this. Anything useful that is.  
Maybe, for once, he should wait.  
Why keep trying if it wasn't going to do anything? 

He would push that mysterious force away for as long as he could, but at this point, anything else was useless.  
So he stopped trying anything else, and simply kept pushing.  
The longer he pushed, the less he thought,  
untill, eventually, he could only think about how hopeless this was,  
and then, slowly, fell asleep,  
pushing  
less  
and  
less. 

* * *

Then he woke up.  
He gasped as he was already starting to sit up, shaken from that too-real nightmare.  
Before he could process anything else, however, his various phones, computers, and other electronic devices in his buzzed several times each, still in his sylladex. From the sound, he had a big number of pesterchum notifications at once, as if the devices got turned on when he woke up. Weird.  
He went to grab one, but instead, he only managed to grab a single sheet of paper, covered in light blue ink. Jane?  
It read: 

Hello dear brother.  
I don't understand why, but it feels like you were getting weak fast, in those last ten minutes.  
For your sake, I would hope you get better. "Would" being the keyword, as you probably noticed.  
I doubt this change on your part is deliberate though, so I assume that the time is approaching.  
A few days, maybe?  
Enjoy those last days before I am complete.  
\- Your sister  


What in the world?  
This could not be Jane. Not the Jane he knew anyway.  
Shocked, John crumbled the paper and threw it away.  
It was at this point that he saw his own hand.  
A hand similar to what he had only seen on a single person before.  
A deep green hand, that ended with claws.  
In other words, a hand like Calliope's.  
He barely noticed when he swore, with a voice that wasn't his.  
"Oh no. Oh _hell_ no," 


	2. Assessing the situation logically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter here we go. the stakes start to reveal themselves

Rose was... in space. Or more acurately, somewhere in the Furthest Ring. She could see the distant Horrorterrors, some of which seemed focused on her for some reason. There were a few Dreambubbles around her too. If she looked hard enough -ow what? she also had a headache apparently-, she could see a few Sessions in the distance. Some of which already finished, sporting their respective Frogs.  
But she didn't see any of her friends.  
How? she was next to them moments ago, on...  
on the Lilypad. Just before John opened the door. Maybe they were all in the new universe, but in different points?  
Ugh... why were her thoughts so sluggish... and where did this headache come from?  
It wasn't important. She should try to contact her friends. This was the best option, according to her powers. -ow. damnit, using them hurt too-  
She went to grab a computing device from her Sylladex, but only managed to grab a simple sheet of paper, covered in pink ink and stains from some kind of fluid.  


hey sis,~  
i thunk i drank too much 'gain.  
y'now how delish theese drinks are, yu know, the ones form the frindly litlle gjuys we met last weak.  
*this, friendly, waek  
damnut  
*week  
so yea, srry not sorry for the hangovs.  
at least ot's gonna stop u from donig ur dumbe occult shit.  
\- youe sis  
\- *your  


That... explained things? Actually no it didn't. How would Roxy drinking would lead to Rose dealing with a hangover?  
Nevermind, she had friends to contact.  
She recapthalogued the piece of paper and...  
Oh wow.  
Was that her hand?  
That... was a cherub's hand.  
... okay so _that_ was why Roxy's drinking could leave _her_ with a hangover.  
Honestly, at this point she had a hard time thinking because of this headache. She would try to sleep it off, but knowing how cherubs worked, it could only backfire.  
And at this point, knowing about the whereabouts of her friends was starting to get urgent.  
She tried to fetch a phone or a computer, but couldn't. What?  
There was nothing in her sylladex?!  
"That isn't possible, I _just_ put a sheet of paper in it!" she muttered. Ow that was louder than expected. Stupid cherub voicebox.  
She materialised her sylladex to find out what was wrong. Ah, it seemed it was because of how this modus worked. Anything she grabbed would go to Roxy and anything Roxy grabbed would go to her. This is what the instructions on the back of the modus said anyways.  
However, when she unplugged this modus, she could still feel her sylladex at the ready, ready to be used. And if she tried to access it....  
Bingo! She decapchalogued her phone with a "Yes!". She didn't even care about the slight flare in her headache.  
She captchalogued her half of the Twin Modus, and started pesterchum. Thankfully, her phone still had the game-powered upgrade that made the phone have an internet signal even in the middle of the Furthest Ring.  
"Now, who to contact..."  
Her instinct -regular instinct, not her seer powers, mind you- told her to contact her human teammates first. It would be less of a mess that way if everyone had the same idea at once.  
She pressed Dave's chumhandle, and started typing. 

tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG]!  
  
Error: turntechGodhead [TG] is not a registered chumhandle! Please check your spelling, and that this handle hasn't been deleted. 

...or not. What? Did... did Dave delete his handle? No, there was no reason why he would do that.  
Did someone else do it? Who? Why? When?  
"No. Calm down, Rose. You aren't helping anyone when you are panicking like that. You can get through this. This is just a temporary setback." 

She would look into that later. Contacting her friends was definitely more important to do right now.  
She scrolled down her contacts, determined to get to the bottom of this situation. She ignored her headache completely and focused. It could only make it worse, but she didn't care.  
Dirk would certainly stay calm and help her assess the situation better, but she didn't even know his chumhandle.  
Roxy? That would be the least helpful move, knowing where she was (AKA exactly where Rose was, sleeping off a hangover)  
Kanaya? Actually her powers advised her to focus on the humans for now. She would talk to her matesprit later.  
That left John and Jade. She didn't have the handles of the others. 

tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB].  
  
EB is offline!  
TT: At least this is an improvement.  
TT: I have no idea what just happened after the Lilypad, but I think we have been scattered.  
TT: Dave's pesterchum account doesn't exist anymore. Or at least it appears so where I am.  
TT: This is why you being only offline is an improvement.  
TT: So if for some reason you can contact Dave, by perterchum or otherwise,  
TT: Actually, I didn't check if could contact him with other apps or other devices.  
TT: No dice. It looks like he disappeared from the internet altgether. Which is not reassuring to say the least.  
TT: Anyway, if you can contact him, let me know, and tell him what I'm going to say here.  
TT: We have been scattered, but I am with Roxy, in a way.  
TT: She is... this is embarrassing.  
TT: We are now in the same Cherub body, it looks like.  
TT: We are somewhere in the Furthest Ring.  
TT: That will be all on my part. Please contact me as soon as you see these messages.  
tentacleTherapist [TT] stopped pestering ectoBiologist [EB].  


That was John. Now onto Jade...

tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering gardenGnostic [GG].  
  
TT: Jade. I don't know what happened when John opened the door to the new universe, but something went horribly sideways.  
TT: I see you are not offline, which is a good thing because I haven't managed to reach anyone else yet.  
TT: If you don't mind, I will give you the same rundown as the one I left to John.  
TT: With one difference being that you know he is offline.  
TT: First, I cannot contact Dave, as he seems to have been erased from the internet altogether.  
TT: I currently am in the middle of the Furthest Ring, and...  
GG: oh finally  
GG: someone else!  
GG: i thought i would be alone for longer than that.  
GG: yes i know about dave. it's the same for roxy too. and dirk is offline, just like john.  
GG: this sucks! D:  
TT: Oh dear.  
TT: This is worse than I thought.  
GG: and it gets worse D:  
GG: even if we all found each other again, i'm not sure what to do.  
GG: i don't want to die, but i don't want to kill jake either!  
GG: this probably doesn't make sense to you though.  
TT: It does, actually.  
TT: I believe Roxy and I have gotten ourselves stuck in a similar situation as you two.  
TT: I will have to admit that I haven't thought about this situation that was.  
TT: This puts a terrifying new perspective to this situation.  
TT: But at the same time, I feel like we should ignore that while we focus on more urgent things.  
TT: Ow.  
TT: I think that headache is starting to come back.  
TT: Would you believe that I have to deal with a hangover of all things?  
GG: what do you mean? why would you?  
TT: Well, I do have a note from Roxy as an apology for not apologizing about drinking too much.  
GG: oh yeah, I had a note from jake too! he said that he was bored about something and that he wanted something new.  
GG: but he was kinda mean about it :(  
GG: also, that note had to be written before i er... "arrived" here, and it's probably the same for yours.  
GG: i think it is the same kind of contradiction than with our planets  
GG: because they appeared when we arrived on them, but at the same time, they already had a lot of history behind them  
GG: and the consorts even said they were waiting for us for ages!  
TT: It certainly makes sense. I believe I cannot think about this for much longer, unfortunately.  
GG: oh yeah.  
GG: so, you know what we should do now?  
GG: maybe without your powers, if they make your headache worse.  
TT: I already thought about that earlier, and I know we should regroup.  
GG: hmm...  
GG: what about the green sun?  
GG: do you think we should go there?  
GG: it's a literal beacon for anyone here.  
GG: as long as we can see it i mean.  
GG: i know i can right now :)  
TT: Sounds like a plan to me.  
TT: I can see it too, but I have no idea how long it will take.  
TT: How about I start going and check in every now and then?  
GG: okay :D  
GG: actually just wait a little, i'm checking something.  
GG: okay so jane, roxy, dave, jake and callie don't exist online, but john and dirk are just offline.  
GG: i'm going to check on the trolls now  
TT: No.  
GG: ?  
TT: I think right now is a bad time to contact them.  
TT: It was far better before I contacted you, but now we have to wait an hour at least for it to be a good idea again.  
GG: okay... :(  
GG: well, see you in a bit then  
gardenGnostic [GG] stopped pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]. 

Rose started going towards the Green Sun. Like she said, she didn't know how long it would take to reach that place, but not because it looked far, but just because the way space and time worked here. But it seemed like the best meeting point, so she would go there. There was another reason why she thought it will go fine, but she already forgot it. Nevermind, she would remember if it was important.  
She directed herself towards the massive star, forgetting about everything else. She would have rather though about things, but that hangover made it difficult and painful. Simply moving was far easier on her head.  


* * *

Some time later, maybe ten minutes later, her phone dinged with a Pesterchum notification.

gardenGnostic [GG] opened memo 'more are online :D'  
  
GG: rose! dirk is online!  
GG: there's three of us!  
timaeusTestified [TT] joined the memo  
tentacleTherapist [TT] joined the memo  
TT(D): Wait what?  
TT(D): No one else?  
TT(D): Just the three of us?  
TT(R): So far, yes. Among the humans at least.  
TT(R): Or rather ex-humans I guess  
TT(R): I doubt there will be more than four of us online for quite a while.  
TT(R): And it would be unwise to contact the trolls right now.  
TT(D): Wait we are all cherubs now?  
TT(R): It seems like it.  
TT(R): Hello, by the way.  
TT(D): Sup.  
TT(R): Can I also ask why you were offline before now?  
TT(D): I'm not sure myself, but I know it was messy.  
TT(D): And probably embarrassing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you with a dark background, you might <strike>have been blinded</strike> have noticed that I forced a light background on the pesterlogs, for easier reading. Do you think I should keep that or not?


	3. And now, for something completely different (or not)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which something very similar to the previous chapters occur. However, this similarity only highlights the differences.  
In other words, in which the Alternian side of things is a little more mundane, but still confusing in person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: How much time did pass since I posted the previous chapter?  
brain: A <strike>knife</strike> month!  
me: No!  


A young troll standed in his respiteblock. From the timestamp on his grubtop, this day was the troll's wriggling day. Today, he would turn six alternian sweeps. However, this troll was far too preoccupied to notice. As one could guess, this troll's name is Karkat Vantas.  
"What in the ever bulge-sucking earth-bull shit just fucking happened?!" And that was his first reaction to where he was.  
"Why am I back _here_? Weren't we supposed to be in the new universe?" Why was he back in his old respite block? Was that some Dreambubble bullshit again? Why was he alone then? Was someone trying to screw with him, see if he could react badly?  
"Is anyone else here? I swear if one of you is pulling a prank on me right now I will kick your sorry rear into the proverbial next week! Maybe even the literal one if Dave feels like helping me!"  
No response.  
"Okay, this was funny, ha fucking ha. Now you better all show up."  
More silence, save for a lone questioning growl from downstairs. Crabdad.  
"Fuck".  
That wasn't possible. Lusii didn't go inside dreambubbles. And whatever imitations were thrown in the dreamscape weren't even remotely capable of reacting to someone they couldn't see.  
But it had to be a dreambubble, didn't it?  
Because if it wasn't, well...  
Shit.  
"Okay, make-believe time over, I am really here, back on fucking Alternia. Home of a society where anyone ever is invited to kill me if I do as much as fall over and scrape my fucking knee.  
I didn't fucking miss _that_! I can deal with this. I did for six sweeps and I can do it again. I'm not having a panic attack over this, I swear!"  
The troll's not-quite panic attack was interrupted by a loud _ding!_ from the other side of the block. A trollean notification.  
On a normal day, and in his normal mood, Karkat wouldn't really want to deal with this -but would feel he has to-, but this time, in the middle of this situation, it reminded him that he wasn't alone, so he rushed to answer.  


terminallyCapricious [TC] started trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
TC: wHaT Is uUuUuP My iNvErTeBrOtHeR?  
CG: HOLY SHIT!  
CG: GAMZEE?  
CG: YOU ARE CALM AGAIN?  
TC: YeAh.  
TC: WhAt dO YoU MoThErFuCkInG MeAn aGaIn  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!  
TC: WhAt mIrAcUlOuS ShIt aRe YoU TaLkInG AbOuT?  
CG: ...  
CG: OH GOG.  
CG: IT'S TODAY ISN'T IT.  
CG: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.  
CG: THE DAY THIS BULLSHIT STARTED LAST TIME.  
CG: I NEED TO ROUND UP EVERYONE  
TC: WoAh mOtHeRfUcK  
TC: ArE YoU AlRigHt?  
CG: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] stopped trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]  
TC: :o(

Fuck. Karkat wasn't ready for this. But if the game was supposed to start all over again, all twelve of them would need to organise a new session. Plus probably make sure everyone calm the fuck down because Eridan, Tavros and anyone else who died on the meteor might jump off the proverbial handle because they are alive again. Gog damn it.  
Okay Karkat. You were their leader at that point in time. So it's up to you to square the fuck up and deal with shit before meteors hit the fan. 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] started a memo on board "ARE WE SERIOUSLY DOING THIS ALL OVER AGAIN?!"  
CG: FUCK. YOU BETTER JOIN SOON, ALL OF YOU  
arachnidsGrip [AG] joined the memo  
AG: And why would you need aaaaaaaall of us for?  
calligulasAquarium [CA] joined the memo  
AG: You do know that today is going to 8e a veeeeeeeery 8uzy day, with the g8me and all?  
AG: Or may8e you just don't know yet?  
CG: VERY FUNNY.  
CG: AREN'T YOU GOING TO AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE TAKEN OFF GUARD BY HAVING TO DO THIS ALL OVER AGAIN?  
CG: TO HAVE ALL YOUR PLANS AGAINST LORD BULLSHIT TOPPLED OVER?  
AG: What are you talking a8out?  
CA: Yes Kar, wwhat in the wworld are you talking about?  
terminallyCapricious [TC] joined the memo  
CG: ARE YOU TWO FOR REAL? YOU CAN'T JUST NOT KNOW WHAT I AM TALIKNG ABOUT!  
CG: YOU KNOW, THE NEAR-INVINCIBLE TIME-TRAVELLING DEMON THAT WE HAD TO DEAL WITH?  
TC: WhAt tHe mOtHeRfUcK ArE YoU TaLkInG AbOuT?  
TC: DiD YoU EaT A BaD PiE Or sOmEtHiNg?  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined the memo  
CA: I wwill havve to agree wwith this pathetic land-dwelling idiot.  
CA: You seem to be completely out of your mind.  
TC: :o(  
GC: D1D YOU SL33P N3XT TO YOUR R3CUP3R4COON 4ND W4K3 UP FROM 4 D4YM4R3 4G41N?  
twinArmaggeddons [TA] joined the memo

What did she mean "again"? He never did that before. Wait. 

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
GC: PL4Y 4LONG  
GC: 1 TH1NK TH3Y DON'T R3M3MB3R 4NYTH1NG FROM TH3 G4M3 OR 4FT3RW4RDS  
GC: 1'LL T4LK TO YOU L4T3R  
GC: BUT FOR NOW W3 N33D TO DO MOR3 D4M4G3 CONTROL  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]!

Oh. OH. Fuck. What a fool Karkat has been right now. Of course that was a thing that could realistically happen. Well, as realistic as it could be in this absolutely putrid situation. Whatever, he should play along. And probably make himself look more ridiculous in the process. Like he was known to do. 

CG: DID I WHAT?  
CG: PLEASE I STOPPED DOING THAT A SWEEP AND A HALF AGO  
CG: WHY WOULD I DO SOMETHING THIS STUPID AGAIN?  
CG: ...  
CG: WAIT WHY THE FUCK AM I COVERED IN SLIME?  
TA: ahahahaha  
TA: oh my god kk  
TA: are you fuckiing seriiou2?  
CG: OH GREAT, NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ELEVEN TROLLS MAKING FUN OF ME.  
CG: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HOW I WANTED MY DAY TO START.

Wait shit!

TC: DaY?  
TC: YoU SuRe yOu aRe aLrIgHt kArBrO?  
GC: OH MY GOD K4RK4T.  
CG: FUUUUUCK  
CG: ALRIGHT I MIGHT STILL BE AFFECTED BY THIS DUMBASS DAYMARE  
CG: I KNOW YOU ARE MAKING FUN OF ME EVEN MORE NOW  
CG: "OH LOOK AT THIS WRIGGLER, HE CAN'T EVEN TELL A DAYMARE FROM REALITY"  
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] joined the memo  
GA: What Is Happening Here?  
AG: Just Karkat 8eing a dum8 wriggler who woke up from a d8mare.   
CG: JUST SCROLL UP IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE EMBARASSING DETAILS.  
AG: It's not even 8oring for once  
AG: Not that I ever expected to say something like that about him.  
CG: AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY THANK YOU?  
AG: Well if you waaaaaaaant to ::::)  
TA: liike he would need to for 2omethiing a2 2iimple a2 not treatiing hiim liike a piiece of 2hiit  
GA: ...  
GA: Karkat?  
CG: YEAH DUMB DAYMARE RIGHT?

Shit he would need to go fast about that.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]  
CG: HEY KANAYA  
CG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANTED TO ASK ON THE GROUP CHAT, BUT COULD YOU PLEASE DO IT HERE?  
GA: What?  
GA: I Mean I Guess So...  
GA: Did This Daymare Include Aliens, By Any Chance?  
GA: Ones With No Horns  
CG: YES. HORNLESS ALIENS WITH WEIRD PINKISH SKIN  
CG: AND THEY LIVE IN A UNIVERSE WE CREATED  
GA: ...  
GA: It Wasn't A Daymare Was It?  
CG: NO  
CG: YOU REMEMBER THEN?  
GA: I Do  
GA: Do You Know What Happened To The Humans?  
CG: FUCK  
CG: NO I DON'T  
CG: I'LL NEED TO SEE WHAT IT HAPPENING WITH THEM TOO  
CG: DO THEY EVEN EXIST RIGHT NOW?  
CG: BECAUSE OUR SESSION HAS TO START AGAIN?  
CG: HEY YOU THINK YOU COULD TRY TO CONTACT THEM?  
CG: I NEED TO KNOW WHO REMEMBERS IN THE TWELVE OF US  
GA: If We Are When I Think We Are I Need To Take Care of My Lusus Soon  
GA: I Think She Might Be Dead Already  
GA: The Humans Will Have To Wait  
CG: OH SHIT  
CG: RIGHT  
CG: OUR LUSII ARE GOING TO DIE  
CG: AGAIN  
CG: FUCK I'M NOT READY FOR THIS  
CG: ANYWAY  
CG: TEREZI KNOWS TOO  
CG: I'LL GET BACK TO YOU LATER  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] stopped trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

Now back to the memo. Hopefully they didn't notice that two of them left the chat.

GC: H3'S PROBABLY JUST SULK1NG  
GC: OR M4YB3 H3 GR3W UP 4 L1TTL3 4ND D3C1D3D TO THROW 4 T4NTRUM SOM3WH3R3 3LS3

...Nice job jinxing it, Karkat.

CG: YOU *DO* KNOW I CAN STILL HEAR YOU, RIGHT?  
CG: AND BY THAT I MEAN READ.  
AG: Of coooooooourse she knows that!  
GC: W3LCOM3 B4CK K4RK4T >:]  
CG: YEAH I KNOW, YOU'VE MISSED ME  
CG: DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO TALK ABOUT?  
AG: the fact that you are ch8nging the su8ject, m88e?  
TA: yeah. there iis 2omethiing wrong wiith you twoday.  
CA: Wwhat do you mean? he is alwways like this  
TA: Hey 2hut up.  
TA: ii know hiim better than you do.  
CG: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP  
CG: I AM PERFECTLY FINE, AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATE YOUR FUCKING CONCERN.  
AG: 8ooooooooring  
AG: anyway, wasn't today supposed to 8e the big day, sollux?  
TA: ye2, and?  
AG: well why aren't we starting????????  
TA: becau2e the team2 aren't done yet  
GC: 4R3 YOU ON T34M BLU3 OR ON T34M R3D?  
TA: ii never talked about a blue team or a red team  
AG: come oooooooon!  
AG: you know everything you do is 8ifurc8ed in red and 8lue as much as you can.  
GC: UNL3SS YOU CH4NG3D YOUR T4ST3S R3C3NTLY, BUT WOULD YOU R34LY? >:]  
TA: fiine  
TA: ii'm on team blue.  
AG: too bad, 8ecause team red is o8viously going to win with me in it.  
TA: you were goiing to choo2e the oppo2iite team anyway, weren't you.  
AG: m88e :::;)  
CA: i don't wwant anything to do wwith your schenanigans, Vris  
CA: i'll go on team blue.  
GC: T34M R3D FOR M3  
GC: NO W4Y 1 WOULDN'T GO W1TH TH3 COLOR TH4T T4ST3S TH3 B3ST >:]  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT  
CG: I'LL JOIN TEAM RED, BUT JUST SO VRISKA DOESN'T TRY TO SCREW ALL OF THE OTHER TEAM OVER.  
AG: hey!!!!!!!!  
CG: DON'T YOU DARE 'HEY' AT ME  
CG: I AM GOING TO HELP US WIN  
CG: BUT WITH *FAIR PLAY*  
TA: yeah there wiill bee two diifferent 2e22iions  
TA: we are *not* fiightiing each other, got iit?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate titles include:  

> 
>   * In which I completely flunk the characterization of a couple trolls because I literally do not know how to write them and it's going to be a problem soon (sorry Gamzee in particular)
>   * In which I realise this story is going to go _fast_ because I'm missing one of the main ingredients of the To Live formula: civilians not knowing anything, or family members who should be kept out of the loop because they are defenceless
> 
> Honestly though, I am realizing that the storyline I had in mind was kinda lame, so I kinda have to spend time changing things. Not that it would change the upcoming... 3 chapters? That part is pretty much decided


	4. Out of the loop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the pespective is changed _again_, and precicions are given on how some things behave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please bear with me. I'll stop introducing plotlines without continuing them in... 2 chapters?
> 
> Also, if you are confused later in this chapter, I am trying to make the pesterlogs look like actual chatlogs. So there can be several people typing at the same time -so delayed responses, and several micro-conversations at the same time-, and there can be a significant amount of time between two lines.

Dave was chilling out. Not much else could be said at the moment.  
Earlier, he woke up on the random-ass moon Dirk left him on, and immediately flew to the next inhabited system for some ...comedy strife? Yeah that was how they called it there.  
That kind of battle of words, where the one who could talk the most smack about the others was the winner, was surprisingly common across the universes. And, somehow, it helped him in his internal fight with his brother. Add to that the fact that he just really enjoyed those, and well... it just became one of his favorite activities whenever he was awake.  
But, since it was always tiring, he had to go back to outer space in order to just chill out. Which was was he was doing at the moment.  
He was quite happy with what he did while ago. With the way he felt, he would be awake for about three quarters of the sleep cycle he shared with his brother. A good step back into dominance.  
He would chill out a while more (maybe just as long as he already did) before doing something else. He'll decide what when he would get there.  


* * *

Or maybe not.  
Dave was starting to feel weird. In a bad way.  
How bad? About as bad as dealing with a good amount of internal bleeding, that's how.  
Yes, blood _is_ supposed to stay in someone's body, but he had learned from some of the more advanced civillizations he encountered that having blood on the inside but in wrong place was also pretty terrible. And too big of a leak just as deadly. Just as deadly as what Dave was feeling. Good job he just explained his own fucking metaphor to himself, like he didn't understand it the first time. Whatever. The point is, Dave was having a terrible time, and was starting to be afraid for his life. He could feel his dominance over his brother slipping away by the second. But that was impossible, right? He knew that for his species predominance could only be gained while awake, and only lost while sleeping. And he was loosing it while awake! And so fast too! How did his brother manage to fight back from the weird purple dreamscape they shared? This was just plain wrong. So wrong it made him want to do some kind of acrobatic stunt off of a thin platform, deliberately fail, and plant his face into the ground. Actually, he would probably do that if it was even possible where he was. But he couldn't. So he didn't. He had better to do anyway. Like figuring out how to stop that. Man he couldn't even make a dent in ...whatever that shit was. Or plug the not-so-metaphorical leak in his lifeforce. When was the narest species's phil swift when he needed him?  
...This was going to be it, wasn't it? This was the moment when Dave would finally die, leaving his body for Dirk to control?  
At this speed, Dave only had what many could call 'minutes' to live.  
Dave let out a panicked sigh. "Well played, bro. You got me."  
But just as he said that, the leak was plugged.  
His lifeforce stopped being drained.  
What? How? Did Dirk get tired because of the trick he used?  
Dave did't know, and honestly? he didn't care. He was just relieved that he had more time to live.  
...Or at least live untill he would fall asleep. As things were, he only had a few more of those "minutes" left awake instead of several "hours".  
He really hoped he would not die in his sleep.  


* * *

TT(D): So basically  
TT(D): The first thing I knew after John opened the door was some sort of void.  
TT(D): Not a thing I could simply get out of, mind you.  
TT(D): Now that I think about it, it was probably the back of my own head  
TT(D): Mine and Dave's.  
TT(D): I hope I won't have to go there when I'll go and sleep again because that's the kind of crap I would rather live without.  
TT(D): Man it felt weird.  
TT(D): But somehow I had access to my God Tier powers.  
TT(D): And they managed to grab something.  
TT(D): I wanted to get out of that place so bad that it took me a full fucking minute to realise how much I was fucking up.  
TT(D): Read: My soul-destroying powers latched on Dave.  
TT(D): And it took me that long to realise that.  
GG: oh no!  
GG: do you know if he is alright?  
TT(D): I think I stopped in time.  
TT(D): I don't know how to describe what I felt that made me think this but  
TT(D): If I hadn't, I would be the only one left in this body.  
TT(D): Just like that asshole Caliborn was when he killed Calliope.  
TT(R): But you aren't him, and Dave is still alive, isn't he?  
TT(D): Yes.  
TT(D): ...  
TT(D): Alright that's all for me. What are you up to?  
GG: not much for me. we are going straight to the green sun to regroup!  
TT(D): Alright. Why didn't you tell me earlier?  
TT(R): Ah sorry. I was too focused on knowing what was happening to tell I guess.  
TT(R): That headache doesn't help either.  
TT(D): What headache?  
TT(R): A hangover from Roxy's drinking.  
TT(R): By the way, did Dave leave you a piece of paper?  
TT(R): Jade and I have one each from our respective counterparts.  
TT(D): He didn't.  
TT(D): I suppose Jade is paired with Jake, and that both of you were awake just after the door was opened.  
TT(D): That leaves Jane and John.  
GG: yes i am with jake, and i was awake directly.  
TT(R): I was awake immediately and...  
TT(R): What Jade said.  
GG: but john doesn't respond. i think he is still the one asleep.  
TT(D): Are you telling me you are also with Jake, Rose?  
TT(R): Ha, Ha.  
TT(D): What about Jane then?  
TT(D): Actually, I'm going to contact her.  
TT(R): Ah. This is another thing I forgot to tell you.  
TT(D): What. The fuck.  
TT(R): John and the three of us are the only ones with a...  
TT(D): This is a huge problem.  
TT(R): ...pesterchum account.  
TT(D): Fuck.  
TT(D): If she is awake, she should be trying to contact us, probably making a new account.  
TT(D): She could contact one of us at any moment.  
TT(D): But if push comes to shove we can wait for John to wake up.  
TT(D): And contact her through him.  
TT(R): Okay. We will keep an eye out for anything new on social media.  
TT(D): Also, you said that you were going towards the green sun.  
TT(D): But I can't see it.  
TT(D): I'm still inside a universe, and I'm not sure how to get out.  
TT(D): Jade, do you know anything about this? Since your aspect is Space.  
GG: hmm  
GG: actually i would probably need to go inside one to feel what i can do.  
GG: rose, should i go inside the nearest universe?  
GG: i think i can teleport out of it anyway  
TT(R): This looks like a good idea.  
TT(R): Anything else you don't know, Dirk?  
TT(D): I think I'm fine for now, thanks.  
timaetusTestified is now an idle chum!  
tentacleTherapist is now an idle chum!  
gardenGnostic is now an idle chum! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On another note, I am figuratively stunned by the kudos and views I'm getting. Like wow, I haven't updated in a month and a half, and the kudos keep pouring in. what.


	5. And then there were two more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two more peeps who know join the crew!  
Also SGRUB is starting, and the trolls are getting in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, that's the last character introductions. (for now)

It has been a long time since Equius experienced anything like that. Not since, well... Not since he became a sprite, and before that, when he was first introduced to the dreambubbles as a dead person. If asked to, he wouldn't be quite sure how to word what 'that' was, but one thing was sure. After being awake and operational for probably thousands of sweeps on end, it felt almost alien having to... not wake up, but close.  
And the first thing he was truly aware of was the damaged screwdriver falling of his moist hand, and into the internals of an unpowered robot.  
The second was that said hand was a fleshy grey instead of a translucent red. The third one was that his mind was slower than what he got used to, and much more, well _Equius_.  
It didn't take him long to realise that his body was indeed his old troll body, sporting cracked shades that hid very lively eyes. Plus, his sylladex was back, containing items he had before the game.

What was he doing before that? He was one of many in the ghost army raised to fight Lord English. After many, many sweeps of seeing the humans, the remaining trolls and the cherub disappear with the Lilypad, of course. But unlike the other ghosts there in the background, he could dodge those attacks capable of erasing ghosts. Not that he ever saw a proper opening to go and attack the big bad directly, even when Davepeta started attacking the guy. The closest Halquius ever got was when Aradia froze Lord English in time. But at that moment, he was too far to get there in time.  
The last thing Equius remembered as Halquius was watching -sweating profusely in anticipation- as the giant white Sburb symbol was rapidly flashing and getting brighter, before suddenly returned to a normal, dull white, with everything else turned pitch black.

The now-alive indigo-blooded troll wasn't panicking. Really confused, yes, and concerned for Hal. (The fact that he couldn't even reach Pesterchum accounts with the version of Trollean he had didn't help.)  
Equius didn't know what happened, but by walking around, he could see that it looked like he was in his old hive. He could even see the lusus of his old neighbor Vriska. Along the way, he absent-mindedly drank a glass of milk Arthour gave to him -predictably, the glass shattered halfway through-.  
Was he still merged with Hal, Equius would immediately start digging through any piece of data he could find in order to understand what was going on. But as it was, Equius knew he wouldn't find anything by himself.  
Having nothing better to do, he decided to continue doing whatever was started on that robot.  
But before long, he received a trollean notification on his palmhusk.

arcenicCatnips [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]  
AC: :33 < Equihiss!  
AC: :?? < Halquihiss?  
AC: :33 < anyway, I'm alive!  
CT: D--> Nepeta/Davepeta! Nice to see you again  
CT: D--> And it 100ks like I am simply Equius now.  
CT: D--> And as alive as you  
CT: D--> And way too f%%%ing STRONG, as I used to be myself.  
AC: ;33 < Watch your hecking language~  
AC: :33 < but yeah that's always nice to hear!  
AC: :(( < And I'm just Nepeta right meow.  
AC: :(( < I can't contact Davesprite or even Dave.  
CT: D--> I am in the same situation.  
CT: D--> About contacting Hal, of course.  
CT: D--> It would be a f001's errand to try this now  
CT: D--> In spite of what he would have thought.  
AC: :// < *Nepeta agrees*  
AC: :33 < But we still have each other, right?  
AC: :33 < <>  
CT: D--> abso100tely  
CT: D--> <>

Nothing else was typed for a while, and Equius put his palmhusk down and went back to tinkering with that one robot.  
But of course, the palmhusk dinged not long after.

AC: :33 < oh whoops!  
AC: :33 < *AC points towards the missed notification for Karkat's memo*  
CT: D--> oh.  
CT: D--> I will join immediately.  
CT: D--> After I prepare a towel and some excuses.  
CT: D--> Mostly the towel  
centaursTesticle [CT] stopped trolling arsenicCatnips [AC]

One fresh towel or two later...

centaursTesticle [CT] joined the memo  
CT: D--> Apologies for not joining you sooner  
AG: oh hey neigh8or  
AG: you missed soooooooo much stuff  
CT: D--> For e%ample?  
AG: the most ridiculous thing Karkat has done in sweeps?  
AG: who knew he was still enough of a dum8 wriggler to mix up reality with a d8mare  
AG: you know, the kind with invincible demons?  
AG: the most accur8 thing in that was aaaaaaaall the irons I had in the fire there.  
AG: and would you look at *that*  
AG: he's not even trying to defend himself right now.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]  
CG: HEY  
CT: D--> Karkat  
CT: D--> Why are you contacting me directly when I went on a memo you are supposedly on  
CT: D--> I find that behavior a100f.  
CG: YEAH YEAH WHAT THE FUCK EVER  
CG: JUST  
CG: THERE ARE THINGS THE OTHERS DON'T KNOW, AND THIS IS PRETTY MUCH THE WORST TIME TO TELL THEM.  
CG: BASICALLY, ONLY FIVE OF US HAVE MEMORIES ABOUT SGRUB OR ANY BULLSHIT THAT HAPPENED AFTERWARDS.  
CG: AND BY SOME PARTICULARLY CRUEL TWIST OF FATE, WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THIS YET A-FUCKING-GAIN  
CG: AND *TODAY*, TO BOOT  
CT: D--> oh  
CT: D--> I admit that I didn't think about the situation that way.  
CG: WELL, NOW YOU KNOW  
CG: BY THE WAY, I  
CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM DOING THIS  
CG: I *COMMAND* YOU TO NOT TELL THE OTHERS AT LEAST BEFORE WE ARE ALL IN THE MEDIUM  
CT: D--> you didn't need to command me for this  
CT: D--> but I will still obey  
CG: OK GREAT  
CG: ALSO THE ONES WHO KNOW ARE KANAYA, TEREZI, AND OF COURSE NEPETA AND THE TWO OF US  
CG: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW, IT'S THANKS TO NEPETA THAT I KNOW YOU KNOW  
CG: NOW I THINK I SHOULD START DEALING WITH THE GAME ITSELF. I'M ALREADY LATE BECAUSE OF ALL OF THIS CRAP  
carcinoGenticist [CG] stopped trolling centaursTesticle [CT]

AG: how long does he usually t8ke to get a single towel  
AG: 8ecause I'm starting to think he just ditched us!!!!!!!!  
AC: :33 < *AC smiles as if there was nothing to worry about. because it is the case*  
AC: :33 < oh don't worry he purrobably just went to get some milk along the way  
CT: D--> yes  
CT: D--> this is what i did  
AG: hmmmmmmmm........  
CT: D--> anyway, this is none of your business  
CT: D--> and i STRONGLY recommend you mind your own.  
AG: you know what? I am in a good mood, so I'll let this drop  
AG: but this is mostly due to the irons I have warming up  
AG: You know, in the fire  
AG: oh, 8y the way, Equius and Nepeta  
AG: it is the 8ig d8 today!  
AG: 8ut you are too l8, so you don't get to pick your teams.  
AG: You are 8oth in team 8lue!  
AG: that's the loosing team!!!!!!!!  
AG: anyw8s I'm done with you  
AG: just ask Sollux for orders or something  
AG: see you next time ::::)  
arachnidsGrip [AG] left the memo  
AC: :|| < ...  
AC: :|| < well that just happened  
CT: D--> my thoughts exactly, Nepeta.

* * *

Karkat found himself quite busy when he arrived in the Land of Pulse and Haze -or at least the Land's 'lobby', where his hive arrived-. As it turns out, the extra time he spent dealing with the situation back on Alternia was also extra time that the Underlings could use to arrive in greater numbers. Thankfully, his status at the top of the Echeladder helped him make short work of the imps, even with his subpar weapons. On the other side of a grubtop screen, Terezi was also in a tough spot, dealing with Gamzee.  
The purpleblood wasn't being difficult on purpose, that Terezi could tell. But _holy shit_ was he difficult anyway.  
_Crash._ Goddamnit here goes another piece of furniture.

GC: YOU KNOW WH4T? STOP DO1NG TH1NGS 1N MY H1V3 R1GHT NOW.  
GC: JUST FOLLOW M3  
TC: wHaTeVeR YoU SaY

Terezi went down the ladder to her treehive, and walked away a little.

GC: HOW 4BOUT YOU PUT SH1T H3R3 1NST34D?  
GC: NOTH1NG TO MOV3 OUT OF TH3 W4Y H3R3  
TC: I CaNt  
TC: ThErE ArE ToO MaNy tReEs.  
GC: OH MY FUCK1NG GOG  
GC: H3R3  
GC: R3MOV3 TH1S ON3. TH3 ON3 1 JUST SL1CED W1TH MY DR4GONC4N3.  
TC: O To tHe mOtHeRfUcKiNg kAy.  
GC: UUUUUUGH F1N4LLY  
TC: I WoNdEr wHaT MiRaClEs tHiS  
TC: CrUxTrUdEr tHiNg  
TC: CaN Do  
GC: W3LL W3 4R3 GO1NG TO F1ND OUT 4R3NT W3 >:]

Terezi sliced through the lid of the damn thing, releasing her kernelsprite, then made the cruxtruder's handwheel make a flip off the handle -which, in this metaphor, was her hand- and grabbed the cruxite drowel.  
And then she dropped it when her dragon lusus informed her that she was going to hatch. '_wait no! stay down_' cracking noises could be heard '_why would I? You clearly need help here_'  
'_Dragonmom no! the meteors, you are going to die!_' more cracking '_please, I don't think those rocks are big enough to even harm me_' a huge _flap_ sound nearly drowned the sound of the meteors falling around the two of them '_mom, please stay down! I know there is a big one coming!_' '_even then, I won't sit there doing nothing. You are clearly running out of t- ̶̡̨ ̸̴͏ ͢͝ ͢ ̕͢ ̵ ͝ ̴͘ ̛ ̛ ̡̢͞ ̴ ̶ ̸͜͝ ҉ ͞ _'

"NO!" A louder crash shook the forest.

TC: WhAt  
TC: WhY DiD I SeE YoU ScReAm rIgHt nOw?  
TC: I CaN't sEe wHaT YoU'rE AlL Up aNd lOoKiNg aT  
TC: SmElLiNg aT  
GC: >:[  
GC: MY LUSUS JUST D13D  
TC: MoThErFuCk?  
TC: YoU OkAy tHeRe?  
GC: OF COURS3 NOT!  
TC: :o(  
GC: JUST...  
GC: H3LP M3 F1ND H3R BODY AND THROW 1T INTO THE W31RD ORB TH1NG TH4T C4M3 OUT OF TH3 CRUXTRUD3R  
TC: WhY?  
GC: JUST DO 1T!  
GC: PL34S3  
TC: AlRiGhT  
GC: TH4NK YOU

Terezi removed her red glasses and 'looked' up.  
She could smell Gamzee's cursor getting higher as the purpleblood was probably zooming out.  
The blind troll inhaled and exhaled, before grabbing the cruxite dowel and heading towards her treehive, where Gamzee already placed the rest of the machinery.  
As much as she hated it, she had to hurry this up and let Gamzee take care of Dragonmom. The lusus's last words were right. She didn't have a lot of time here.

* * *

When, finally, she entered the Medium, alongside with her now-sprited lusus, she shot a few messages to her server player.

GC: 1M 1N  
GC: YOU SHOULD PROB4BLY ST4RT G3TT1NG OFF OF 4LT3RN14 TOO  
GC: TH3 M3T3ORS 4R3 4FT3R YOU N3XT.  
TC: OkAy sIsTeR  
TC: I'Ll cOnTaCt tAvRoS  
TC: BuT LiKe  
TC: YoU SuRe yOu'lL Be aLlRiGhT?  
GC: 1'LL D34L  
GC: WORRY 4BOUT YOURS3LF  
TC: AlL MoThErFuCkInG RiGhT  
TC: SeE YoU LaTeR ThEn terminallyCapricious [TC] stopped trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

When Gamzee's cursor vanished, Terezi allowed herself to lie against a wall and just... breathe. There were no underlings yet, so she had a little time.

...  
She wasn't too sure what to think about her lusus getting herself killed and turned into a sprite. Again. Sure, it had to happen, even though she tried to stop it. Which was just as useless as it was dangerous, in retrospect. Did she want to create a doomed timeline? Or worse, ensure a null session in this new alpha timeline thing? Damnit, seers just didn't operate that well when panicking.  
In the end, this situation went as well as it could.

There was also something else bothering her. Someone else, rather. Gamzee.  
How stupidly infuriating he was in the beginning. Before her lusus died. He actually helped her as much as possible after that. He was concerned, and she was way weaker than he should have been. But if he actually could help her without too much of a fuss, it either meant he was acting infuriating on purpose, or he was just too lazy to focus on helping her before. Or... he was too lazy on purpose. No. It had to be one of the last two, because knowing Gamzee in general, he couldn't fake clumsiness that well. But why couldn't he focus when the stakes were that high? It was so infu... ri... ating.  
Wow. Now she remembered. And she was falling pitch for him 'again'.  
She remembered that before the game -the first time- she even started to blackflirt with him. Those feelings eventually faded, but now she also had an idea of what would have happened if she somehow kept those feelings, thanks to what she remembered from that weird retconned timeline.  
Jegus fuck, this was bad. As if she didn't have anything on her plate yet. She might need to get someone to be ready to auspisticise them, if it ever starts to go out of hand. Actually, scratch that. Everyone who remembers would have to get together and avoid that mess on the meteor this time around.  
Gog damn it.

_Crack_  
Oh well, she would have time to figure this out later. Around 600h to be exact.  
For now, the underlings were starting to come close, and her break was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up, John (finally)!  
In other words, this is my first >2k words chapter. Whoo? Yeah I know it's still short.
> 
> Ah! I almost forgot.  
Merry (late) Christmas / Hanukkah / whatever you celebrate this time of year  
And of course, Happy New Year!


	6. Back to the roots: John in a bedroom. (AKA chapter 1 part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author can't stop adding stuff, even though it's _still_ the intro.  
At least the plot is furthered somewhat, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are June 1st. Which means last chapter was published exactly 5 months ago. Yikes.  
Hope I didn't make you wait too much.
> 
> Also, I can't seem to stop adding stuff I have zero experience in. 
> 
> Ah, and before I forget. Happy pride month!

'Okay, calm down' John thought. 'calm down'. He sat down back on the bed -when did he get up?- and breathed deeply a couple times. The feeling of he passing air felt alien in his ...lungs? At least it was somewhat comforting.  
He didn't know how to feel about suddenly being a cherub, but somehow, his God Tier pyjamas were there to greet him in this new body. It had to be a new one, right? It wasn't like someone had some kind of ancient artefact that could change his body. That kind of stuff only existed in the movies, even with the logical impossibilities of Sburb being a thing. Plus, such an artefact wouldn't explain how Jane was sharing this body with him. 

The room he was in was... definitely not one he ever was in before. The entire furniture had a silverish reflection to it, save from the bed he was in. And wow was there a lot of it.  
Two entire sets of cupboards, drawers, desks, sport lockers? with the exact same layout, but two different shades of blue. And of course, since it wasn't on the nose enough, they were at the opposites sides of the room, not mirrored but rotated around the bed, like the twin spirals that appear on a young cherub's cheeks.  
The bed was different, being a single grey slab in the center of the room, made out of some sort of ...soft stone? Not ideal by human standards, but then again, that was no human's bed, and probably not slept in.  
There were two doors in this large room's walls -a silverish grey, not quite like the darker bed-. For some reason, they looked like they opened upwards instead of sideways. 

John fumbled around with his sylladex, trying to fetch his phone -or anything with Pesterchum-. It was empty, but it didn't take too long for him to find out why. When he materialised the cherub-only modus he was using, he could feel his actual sylladex and corresponding modus underneath.  
And so he opened pesterchum, directly on the newest item: the group chat. -Gog, it felt like he was almost a year late, with all those notifications.-  
The conversation that started when he typed was sweet and short, but ultimately, it doesn't matter yet. 

Plus, it wasn't too long until one of the doors to the room was opened by someone, causing John to recaptchalogue his phone.  
"My lord! You are awake!" the small creature exclaimed, before hurrying towards John and bowing, their ...butler's outfit folding itself along the already visible creases.  
"I... am". John didn't quite know what to answer. "What is going on?"  
The 'butler' looked confused for a moment. "Nothing special, my lord. After all, you did order us to not organise anything too close to the time you wake up"  
As a second thought, they added "What, may I ask, are you wearing? I cannot remember when or how you obtained it."  
The god tier clothes? Well if they came here with him, it would explain why this "Lord John" never had them before.  
"I made them," John decided to lie. He wasn't sure how to even begin to explain otherwise.  
"You made them," the small being repeated, looking mostly confused, but also a little ..amused?  
John wasn't sure how this butler and their species expressed emotions on their face, but if it was anything close to humans or trolls, then John's guess couldn't be too far off.  
The mysterious being continued, a happy smile -probably- stretching over their nose-less face "It seems you will never run out of resources to surprise everyone."  
That was... a good thing?  
"Of course it is!" the creature smiled "You have to stay ahead of your sister, don't you?"  
John nodded. Riiiight. Wait, he said the sentence before that one out loud didn't he.  
"Well in any case, breakfast is served downstairs, if you wish to eat it."  
And just like that, the butler bowed, and went back out of the room, using the same door as before. Their shoes being strangely silent on the hard ground all the while. 

"Well that just happened" John decided, before following the butler -he probably should learn their name at some point- presumably to the place where breakfast was served. But first, he sent a couple more messages on that group chat. The others must have been waiting for him. 

* * *

As it turns out, this place was BIG, and John took an entire half hour to find where breakfast was even served -when he got out of his room, he couldn't see the butler anymore, so he needed to find the way himself-. Even using Breath to feel what rooms were without coming near them.  
There was also something... off about the whole place, even though John couldn't find what it was.  
When another of those aliens came to cross John's path, he mindlessly waved, before almost regretting it when they visibly paled and made their best effort to blend in with the walls as they passed.  
If it wasn't obvious before, these beings were as tall as a cherub pre-teen, even the presumably fully grown adults.  
A second one, carrying a pile of paperwork, bowed the moment they saw John.  
The butler from before should have prepared him for this, but he really was treated like a lord here.  
Just like with the two before, every one who crossed John's path bowed, moved away, or actually talked to him -usually to ask him if they could help him in any way-, and kept calling him their lord.  
That last point wasn't that good of a sign, given who was the single other cherub 'lord' John knew about.  
A few times, he found people either particularly pleased, or particularly disgusted to see him. Most of them had a piece of blue cloth in their outfit, the exact color corresponding to their reaction. Read: there were some John supporters and some Jane supporters. Thaaaats politics, John guessed. 

When the ex-human arrived in the dining room, he did not have many expectations about what he was going to eat. However, a raw steak with a side of candy corns and ...was that glitter? was totally out of these expectations. His eyes would have widened if he had any eyelids to do so.  
However, he also almost stopped walking for a second, and _that_ didn't go unnoticed, as the butler from earlier seemed a little concerned by it. They didn't comment on it, though.  
The breakfast happened in a comfortable silence (John politely declined whenever someone asked him if he wanted anything), and tasted surprisingly good. Probably thanks to the new taste buds John had.  
The dining hall was surprisingly small for a place that big, even if it was bigger than his entire old house. The ceiling had some sort of candle-less chandeliers, which didn't actually emit that much light, given how every wall and floor seemed to glow enough to see fine. The table and chairs were ornate, like some 17th century European monarch's table, but made out a gray variant of the same material as the various things in the bedroom.  
There were six of those ...whatever they call their own species, roaming around, ready to serve him more food, get drinks, and ...probably relay whatever instructions he might give, given the last one had a notepad of all things. And of course, the butler from earlier. This time, however, they seemed unreadable, silently watching John eat. It was probably their job, but it was still kinda creepy, and it was hard not to stare back every now and then. In the end, he still managed to pass off as normal. Or at least he hoped he did. 

After that breakfast of sorts, John simply decided to go back to his room for a while, mostly to take a look at his desk. Maybe what was on it contained more information about what was going on.  
On the way back, John realised what felt off about the place: Of all the corridors and rooms he visited, not one of them allowed him to see the sky. Not even through windows. This wasn't obvious at first due to the incredibly convincing lighting that was coming from the walls, but now he couldn't help but see that, anywhere he went. Was this building just that big, or was it underground?  
The more time passed, the more John felt trapped. He was supposed to be flying, to be in wide open spaces, not this endless maze of corridors and gog the corridors were so small. Felt so small. He could have sworn they were fine, luxuriously big even, just a moment ago.  
"Okay no John, you are making it worse. Stop thinking about it," he muttered where nobody else could hear it.  
He just needed to go back to his room. That was the largest place around, wasn't it?  
At least this was what he hoped during the few minutes it took him to find it. And he was happy to be right.  
When he arrived in that room, he checked that nobody was there, and just... dissolved into the air. It felt... nice. Relaxing. Even though he was only in a single room -no, _stop_\- this form felt way more free. More familiar. If he was honest, this might have been the most comforting thing that day so far. 

After what was probably a few minutes, John felt relaxed enough, and decided to learn more about this place. He reformed himself and sat down on the his-blue colored desk chair, and looked at the papers in front of him.  
A few... political speeches, written by him. Not the best way to start understanding stuff. A folder about a recent hot issue about one of his "generals" swearing death upon any strong Jane supporter of the place, before being captured by their peers. Holy shit he didn't want to deal with that. Hm... A floor plan with a couple notes? Nice!  
And... AHA! Detailed notes of the next moves he planned to do on this political chessboard.  
However, the more he looked at it, the less sense it made, to the point John couldn't help but mutter his thoughts.  
"Wait, why are those three steps supposed to happen after each other?" Step A was 'to be done first', step B after A and before C, and step C before step A? What?!  
Was that a joke? Why would he leave this kind of stuff on his own desk?  
John felt like he has been pranked somehow.  
Wait... this thing was in plain sight when he woke up, meaning it was there when Jane was up too.  
Was that plan a prank to be played on Jane? Holy cow it was. Too bad it was John who fell for it. "Good job, past John, good job. I am proud of you."  
A proud, almost fatherly expression formed itself on John's face as he leaned back in the chair. He decided to captchalogue the floor plan, it might come in handy later. Supposing it wasn't another prank -to be frank, the notes probably were-. 

This was the moment the butler chose to enter. -Seriously, John needed a name to put on his? her? their face, plus some pronouns.- They looked towards John, hands fidgeting with the hems of their suit. A far cry from earlier.  
"My Lord? Sorry I entered like that, I couldn't hear your answer when I knocked."  
"Oh sorry, I guess I was too focused on those papers." John lightly tapped a claw -bluh- on them to emphasize his point.  
The butler nodded at that and walked towards him.  
"Is there something wrong?" they asked.  
Crap. John must have acted different than usual. Maybe playing dumb would give him an advantage. "Why are you saying that?"  
"Well, usually it never takes you that long to go get breakfast, and you usually stay afterwards. Not to mention that you were way more silent than usual."  
"Well, maybe I wanted to start the day a little slower than usual" John shrugged in response, trying his best not to look as tense as he was.  
To that, the butler frowned, seemingly thinking about something. "I guess this could-" Faster than John could react, they took a wet cloth out of their pocket and rubbed one of John's cheeks with it. There was enough force to bruise a human's fleshy face, but not even remotely cause pain on a cherub's. Still faster than John could react, the butler removed the cloth. When they looked at it, they frowned even more, looking almost angry.  
"Hey why did you th..."  
John found himself interrupted by a hissed reply. "...who are you and what did you do to Lord John"  
Oh.  
Oh boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, the end of this chapter is interconnected with stuff in the next two chapters, which explains how all this has been in retcon hell since November. That and the fact that I can't OC.  
Also, Yes.  
**November.**
> 
> Another thing to note is that in this chapter, there is a reference to a fic I read. When I put that reference, that story was still ongoing, but it has since progressed at least 100k words, and ended. ...Then restarted less than two weeks ago.  
Cookie points to those of you who know what I'm talking about?
> 
> And yes, when it said "a year late", I was indeed leaning on the fourth wall.
> 
> Oh, and a last thing.  
I'm over 10k words now! that's like... the length of two proper chapters!

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I've mentioned this yet, but I have to thank the peeps on Pyros's discord server for giving me the will to write something.  
so.. yeah. Thank you.


End file.
